How Soccer Made Olympic Basketball Better Than the NBA

Basketball is the second most popular team sport worldwide after soccer. Even though b-ball originates in isolationist United States, basketball is such an addictive game that you’re almost as likely to find basketball hoops as soccer goals in Buenos Aires, Bangkok, or Beijing.

The soccer and basketball are similar in important ways. The rules are simple. You don’t need much equipment. You can play with any number of players or even just dribble and shoot on your own. Best of all, the game is flexible enough to have dramatically different styles of play that, at their heart, express a local culture values. Compare, for example, the mechanical team ball of Duke or the flashy street ball of Rucker Park.

Soccer, however, is the 800 pound gorilla in world sport. It has, inevitably, influenced the Jonny-come-lately game that is basketball.

That’s a good thing. Take, for example, the gold medal game this weekend between the United States and Spain. Compared to the typical NBA playoff game, Shorthanded couldn’t help but notice that the game was better.

Sure, the NBA features more quality players because pro team recruitment isn’t restricted by national lines. But for fans, we’d rather watch the world’s version of basketball any day. The reason’s simple, really. One rule difference:

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Stuff You Should Know But Probably Didn’t (Japan v. U.S. Olympic Gold Medal Match)

Pretty people get more attention than us ordinary folk. This well-known truth apparently shocks some people. How else do you explain the swirl around Lolo Jones? If you haven’t heard, the New York Times skewered the Olympic hurdler for the attention the media and marketers showered on her even though she hasn’t won (much). The Times even evoked the dreaded “Anna Kournikova” comparison. The paper basically ripped Jones for making money off her looks.

Please.

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What We Was Thinking: Japan v. Mexico Olympic Semi-Final

When Shorthanded was traveling through Mexico we were often serenaded with cries of “Chino! Chino! (Chinese!)” as the touts and vendors and children tried to hawk us their wares.

Though Shorthanded cops to being Asian, we can’t say we look very Chinese. It’s a common mistake, though. If you can’t differentiate your East Asians and you want to play the probabilities, Chinese is probably the way to go. There are, after all, a whole hell of a lot of ‘em.

Shorthanded, however, does not believe the Mexicans we met were playing the odds. It was, more likely than not, a case of “all look same.” Chinese? Japanese? Korean? Vietnamese? For much of Latin America, todos son chinos. Perhaps it a bit of ethnic karma. Here in the United States many Asian-Americans mistake any latino as Mexican.

All this ran through our minds as Shorthanded watched today’s semi-final clash between Japan and Mexico. Did the Mexican players ever refer to the Japanese players as chinos? Do the Japanese players have as many problems telling the difference between Honduran and Mexican players as your Japanese-American immigrant grandma? Ah, the beauty of international soccer—it’s unending.

Here are a few more thoughts on Mexico-Japan. Continue reading

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Wait, The Olympics Has Soccer? (Yes, And Here’s Why You Should Watch)

It wasn’t always like this. Olympic soccer used to be huge. Before the first World Cup in 1930, the Olympics was the only place for world tournament soccer. From 1900 until 1928, Olympic winner’s could claim they were the best in the world. Even after 1930, Olympic soccer arguably was the premier soccer spectacle. In time, though, the amateur-only Olympics began to lose its status as more soccer players turned professional.

Still, FIFA, soccer’s world governing body, saw the Olympics as a competitor of the World Cup and in the ‘80s took measures to undercut the Olympic tournament including restricting what kind of players could take part. By 1992, the Olympics had taken the format it has today—professionals are allowed, but teams are limited to players under 23 years-old, plus three “overage” players. Even then, FIFA does not require clubs to release overage players for the Olympics, in contrast to the World Cup. In essence, (men’s) Olympic soccer has become a youth tournament.

This, amongst other reasons, is why our British cousins—hosts of this year’s Olympics—dismiss Olympic soccer. To hear them tell it, Olympic soccer is a waste-of-time, non-prestigious event that tires out players for next month’s start of the professional season.

That apathy is reflected in the ticket sales for the forthcoming Olympic soccer matches. Olympic organizers in London have withdrawn 500,000 tickets for sale, basically acknowledging that they will never be sold. In other words, the otherwise soccer-crazy English can’t be bothered to watch Olympic soccer even though it’s in their own backyard.

Sadly, Americans might follow suit. We barely watch soccer anyway and our (men’s) national team didn’t qualify for the Olympics. The North American spots went to Mexico and Honduras. Our boys couldn’t even make it out of the qualification group stage because they couldn’t beat tiny El Salvador and got their butts kicked by, wait for it. . . Canada.

So the question is, should Americans give a damn about (men’s) Olympic soccer?

Funny you ask, because Shorthanded can think of at least three reasons why you should watch.

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Soccer’s Fashion Season (Where Otherwise Manly Men Stress About What They Wear)

The big professional leagues in Europe (i.e. the best leagues in the world) are now in the off season and won’t start up again until August. In the mean time, soccer fans get their soccer fix by immersing themselves in what we at Shorthanded refer to as soccer fashion season. This time every year teams debut redesigned team shirts to the eager anticipation of fans everywhere.

Think back—when was the last time you looked forward to the release of your team’s new uniform? In the United States, it’s pretty rare. That’s because here, team uniforms are near sacrosanct. Basketball, baseball, and football jerseys might change, but its usual slow and subtle. The exceptions tend to be when a team’s logo undergoes a dramatic change or when the team decides to rebrand itself. Witness the evolution of the New England Patriot’s uniform.

The Patriots have changed their uniforms, but it happened slowly over a period of years. The most dramatic change occurred in 1993 when the team changed the uniform’s primary color from red to blue. Simultaneously, the team ditched the “Pat Patriot” logo in favor of the current, streamlined moniker, affectionately referred to by fans as the “Flying Elvis”.

The evolution of the Patriot’s uniform typifies American traditions for uniforms. The basic premise: don’t mess with it.

The tradition is soccer is dramatically different. Uniforms (or “kits”) change annually and, often, dramatically.

This is surprising considering that soccer prides its tradition and history. Unlike in the U.S., soccer teams aren’t named for animals or groups of people or weather phenomena, they’re named after the team’s locale. For example, Barcelona’s team is “Futbol Club (FC) Barcelona” and the city of Manchester is represented by the teams “Manchester United F.C.” and “Manchester City F.C.”

Teams are not primarily “brands” as they are stateside; instead they are first and foremost the embodiment of the local community. Soccer fans blanche at the idea of introducing mascots or redesigning the team crest (a.k.a its logo).  Fans organize protests and commit vandalism when an owner attempts to slap corporate sponsorship on a stadium. Teams do not change cities. They are as wedded to their places as the local cathedral or monument; anyone who dares to mess with the local symbol must be prepared to face fan and media wrath.

Team uniforms, however, are a different matter. Nothing illustrates the chasm between American and world attitudes to uniforms than this: soccer shirts always feature a corporate sponsors whose logo dwarfs the team’s crest. There is no team “Samsung” or “188Bet” or “AirAsia” but you wouldn’t know it from the the shirts of Chelsea, Bolton, and Queens Park Rangers. In fact, unless you know a team’s colors, you won’t know what team you’re looking at without a set of binoculars.

Sometimes that’s not a problem, especially if your team’s shirt sponsor is something cool. For a time Barcelona donated the spot on its jersey to UNICEF. Who’d be ashamed of wearing a shirt emblazoned with an organization devoted to saving children?

Other fans, though, have not been so lucky. FC Nuremberg were, for a time sponsored by a company called “Mister Lady” while Lyon’s shirts were once emblazoned with “Le 69.”

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Was That A Goal? (Technology, Soccer, and The New World)

The United States has its roots in the continent across the Atlantic. Our democracy, language, and food can be traced back to Europe. Over the last 200 years, though, we rebel Americans have developed our own cultural attitudes; for instance we differ from our European cousins on universal health care (not having it), guns (we have lots), and stinky cheese (it stinks). Few things, though, illustrate the divide between their Old World and our New World than our differing attitudes to goal line technology in soccer.

If you haven’t heard, goal line technology is a system whereby either a set of high speed cameras or sensors determines whether a soccer ball has crossed the goal line and, thus, a team has scored. Reportedly, the results are available in under a second and are presumably both more accurate than human eyeballs and cannot be corrupted by referee biases (e.g. team prejudices, blinking, desires to ruin one’s own sightlines by standing behind goal posts, etc.).

The goal line technology debate resurfaced again at this year’s European Championships. Ukraine were fighting for their tournament lives against England. Ukraine scored, except English defender John Terry backwards kicked the ball out of his own goal. The goal line referee—a special official utilized in big games to determine if a ball crosses the line—didn’t see the goal (it happened very quickly) and didn’t signal for a goal. England ended up winning 1-0.

There are legitimate reasons not to implement the most obvious American solution: replay. The essence of soccer is a flowing, seamless game. There are no timeouts. The clock never stops. When the ref calls a foul, a team usually doesn’t have to wait for a whistle to restart so long as the ball is away from goal. Replays would introduce an unprecedented break in the action. We’d be killing a fundamental part of the game. We get it.

What’s maddening is the opposition to solutions which do not interrupt the action. With the goal line tech a pager of some kind would notify the ref when a goal is scored. He (it’s always a he) blows the play dead. The score changes. Justice is served.

Some people (i.e. some Europeans) still rage against using “non-human” agents in soccer. Let’s examine some of the arguments and also they reflect the divide between the Americas and Europe. Shorthanded reminds you that the following quotes come from actual sentient beings. We wish we were making these up.

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Who Should Face Spain? (Germany v. Italy)

Yesterday Spain beat Portugal to earn a spot in the final of the European Championship. After 120 minutes of scoreless soccer, the injustice of penalties put Spain ahead. Shorthanded hates penalties. While TV producers might love it (dramatic, tense, etc.) Shorthanded finds them unjust. Not only because deciding a soccer match on penalties is like deciding a basketball game on free throws. It’s mostly because the team that kicks first wins 60% of the time. In other words, if you win the coin flip to decide kicking order, you have a nearly 2 t0 1 advantage to win. This is just silly. (For the record, Shorthanded also hates sudden death football for the same reason—the team that receives also wins 60% of the time. This is also silly.)

Including the injustice of penalties was the preceding 120 minutes of goalless soccer. Now, to soccer nerds like your Shorthanded, this was not horrible. Portugal—Shorthanded’s adopted team for the day—as well against Spain as any team in the tournament. Portugal attacked Spain and disrupted its possession based game. It had a number of good chances to score. It could have won. You can’t say the same about the defense “first and only” France, a team that cravenly abandoned its attacking style and retreated into a shell when it faced Spain. Capitulation doesn’t sound French at all, does it?

Today’s match should be more entertaining. The historically defensive Italy have gotten this far in the tournament taking the game to the other team. Germany is arguably the most attacking team in the tournament. Both managers have said they’re not changing the way they play for this game. Let’s hope that results in some great soccer.

But who should progress? We already know they’ll face the current world and European champions Spain. Both should be underdogs. What we, the neutral American public should want is an underdog that will give Spain a game.

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